Humari puri zindgi humare emotions ko chupane aur dikhane mein beet jaati hai,par kya har insaan iss qabil hota hai ki voh apne emotions , apne ehsaason ko dhang se bata paye. Aisi hi ek kahani ko aap padhne jaa rahe hai, toh Grab Your Tissue Box and Some Snacks and Happy Reading.
The wall clock ticked as it should like always unknown of all the happenings in its surrounding, unknown of the happenings in people’s life. The time moved on its own as it should. It doesn’t care what storm it brings with it, whose life it destroys or whose life it consumes.
They say the silence speaks volumes. But sometimes it suffocates. It completely consumes the person. The whole mansion is still its 4:45 in the morning. The atmosphere is bone freezing cold . usually this serenity is found soothing for most people but things were not the same for HER though.
A women in her mid twenties, wearing a warm shrug is working in the kitchen basically making coffee. Yes, she was making coffee at almost 5 in the morning.
It was cold outside as the winters are on peak with cold winds blowing at the fullest signalling all the couples in love to warm themselves in this cozy and romantic environment.
She glanced at the clock to find is already 4:50. Which meant she had only 10 mins to prepare coffee for her husband. Black coffee. Yup, typical I know. These health freak men these days and their no sugar policy I tell you. All other men at one side and her man was at the other. Why..? well the answer to that is he is a workaholic mad bull who worships time as his god .Yup you heard it right . all he does is work work and work…!!
No time for wife at all.
The big wall clock in their living room chimed indicating that’s its already 5 and now she was late.
She hurriedly picked up his coffee mug in the tray and almost ran to his oops ! correction their room. She entered the room only to find the bed empty. Again. Its been almost 3 years of their marriage but still she couldn’t adjust to his odd timings. She heard tap water running sound from the washroom which informed her of his presence.
Alas! she was late again. It was 5:15. Her husband is a very punctual man infarct sometimes over punctual. He needed everything on time. A minute late and you are gone. His work is always his first priority .it has always been. Well she never complained. Yet. Though she felt ignorant. But the question was how long…?
Just then the washroom door clicked open and a handsome man of 6 ft and perfectly chessiled chest came out in just his bathrobe and the woman’s cheeks were instantly tained with a deep red hue. Even though he has been her husband for almost 3 years now but his effect on her was still the same. He made her heart skip a beat or two each time he is present near her.even glancing at him made her blush forget looking in his eyes. Well if looks could kill then don’t know how many countless times she must have died in these 3 years. She ogled at him almost like a shameless creep. But what can you do when your husband is hot as fuck except for drooling.
Ugh..!! these shameless hormones .Never mind. She was busy in ogling at her husband with shy face wen he came towards her and took the coffee mug from the tray and had a sip then kept it at the table and went towards their wardrobe to dress-up.
“you’re again late naina…” he said removing his robe standing in front of the wardrobe only. Naina instantly looked away blushing .
It was not like she hadn’t seen him naked before. In fact she had, many times.Yes they had consummated their marriage right after a month of their marriage. But she still was shy looking at him even when he was only shirtless and naked is like next level for her.
Shooing away her shyness she spoke,
“I am sorry jai, I will try to be on time next time” she muttered while looking down
He just nodded and left for the office like everyday after all he is a workaholic.
” Uske hasne pr Mere chehre pr muskaan aajati hai
Usse dekhkr mujhe sukoon ki nend aati hai
Usske ek lafz se meri rooh ki tapish sulagh jaati hai
Haan pyaar toh hai usse mujhe
Par yeh pyaar nhi,
dil ke armaano ki likhi
Ek band copy hai”
NAINA, Naina Thapar (Now Naina verma) a young woman with a heart of gold. Age twenty five ,a housewife by occupation well after being married it was like what it is actually. She left her job because she wanted to for her husband that doesn’t mean she is weak willed or not educated, naina had been a bright student in all her academic career and achieved a degree with distinction as well as student of the year award in her fashion designing institute. But she chose this life as she willingly wanted to. She worked at home as she loved to do the household stuff. She married Jai Verma, Ceo of verma enterprises which deals in import and exports of textile raw materials all over the world.
It was an arrange marriage. Jai’s mother liked Naina and selected her for jai in Jai’s cousin’s marriage where naina came from the girl’s side as the bride best friend.Eventually naina fell for him with the passing time like every other married girl but the twist here was jai was unknown to all her feelings as she never confessed and jai being a workaholic asshole never gave any heed to what was going on in her heart and mind.
Now coming to Jai Verma a total workaholic person who not only values but worships time. He wants all his work to be done on the perfectly allotted time. He loves naina only as his wife as he thinks its his duty to love her. This love is different from the love we know. There’s nothing affectionate about it. Its just something he thinks he has to follow just as a job.But little did he know that, love without emotions and feelings is useless.
The towel was kept on their bed .Naina just took the towel, kept it in the washing basket and start cleaning up the room. This was her daily routine from past 3 years.
Naina after completing all her household chores sat to express her imaginative ideas through her designs, being a fashion designer isn’t a cake walk for naina.
She went to their walk in closet, opened the cupboard and took out a thick black diary which had NV engraved on it in capital letters and started to sketch her thoughts. But alas! She wasn’t able to. It didn’t come out as she wanted them to be. She flipped through her old design to boost herself so that she could work on a new one when she found an envelope, which had pictures of hers. Some candid clicks by her husband JAI VERMA. Shocked isn’t it…?
But ya even after being a workaholic, jai had a great sense and passion for photography which faded away with time. He took over his father’s business and gave all his time and heart to it.
Naina flipped through the images when she found a candid picture of hers from their reception party which was clicked by jai on his cousin’s demand.
She was smiling while playing with her bangles as her cousin sister Reema was teasing her with jai’s name. She still remembers how happy she was that day. She was officially his. She became NANINA JAI VERMA from naina thapar. Each person who visited her said that she was glowing. Well little did they know that jai was the sole reason behind it.
Journey of being Naina Verma from Naina Thapar was not at all easy for naina. She sacrificed her identity but she loved it as she loved jai way too much.
She still remembers ,it was a year to their marriage. That day was their wedding anniversary day and naina was impatiently waiting for jai who still hadn’t arrived yet from his workplace
She again heated the food and settled herself on the dining table and slept their only while waiting for jai.
Next day she found herself on their bed in their room alone and it was 8 in the morning.
She picked up her phone and called jai who after rejecting it every time. After 3 calls he picked up the phone but before she could say a thing he blasted on her rudely,
” What’s the matter naina?! What do you want?!! If I’m cutting your call again and again that means I’m busy damn it..!! Don’t you have this much of a common sense….!!”
Even though jai verma was a dominating and short tempered man but his values and etiquette never allowed him to raise his hand or misbehave with any women.
” Jai yesterday was our 1st anniversary ,you arrived home that too late and didn’t even wake me up. It was a special day for both of us and I wanted to celebrate it you. Together” said naina slowly almost as a whisper trying to control her emotions which were forcing the tears to flow on their own.
“Is it done…? Can I resume to my work now. I have more important stuff to look after naina ,rather than celebrating some stupid anniversary. Act mature for once in your life naina. Since its been one year , now you should know this that my work is my first priority ” said jai sternly.
“and ya I would be late today so eat you dinner and lunch on time and don’t wait up for me” he spoke and hanged up on her without listening to her further.
As the phone went dead on the other side, naina was still sitting on their bed with the phone still pressed to her ear, trying to control all her overflowing emotions. she wanted to cry , cry to her heart’s content, she wanted to yell at jai and make her point to him that this behavior of his hurt her, she felt ignored , bad but she couldn’t .
Not because she vulnerable and weak like a typical Indian women but because jai already made it clear before marriage that for him his work come first. It was her mistake to think that it would change anyhow in the future. Maybe she was expecting way too much from him.
But what to do DIL NE KABHI MANN KI SUNI HAI JO AB SUNEGA…
“Bekarari thi , chahat thi
Kuchbhi khelo bss tumhi se mohobaat thi
Rooh ne hamesha bss tujhe hi chaha tha
Prr wqt ne hamesha bazzi maari thi
Kyunki mere pyaar pr
Tere sapno ki taqdeer
Yun kuch iss qadar bhaari thi
Yun kuch iss qadar bhaari thi”
With passing time she learned to compromise, to walk behind him as his ally. Never complained but she always felt and had this hope that maybe one day, one day jai will love her back, care for her like she did most importantly spend time with her which she always wished for.
It’s not like he didn’t care. He did but that love that own-ness which she wanted to see in his eyes was always missing. Yes she was a part of his life but after all she was just a part not his life which he was to him.
She clearly remembers, once she was hospitalized due to high fever and pneumonia, even though jai though her as his responsibility but that was the first time he actually showed some concern for her openly. She still remembers when she had fainted while serving him dinner he freaked out like anything. Before slipping into unconsciousness she saw his face, the ever so calm and composed jai verma was actually worried, worried for her, for her well being. He caught her before she could kiss the ground in his arms securely. His hand was on her bare waist while his other hand was continuously patting her cheek while calling her name. That was the first and the last time she saw that spark for her in his eyes.
Though she was unconscious the whole night but she could still feel someone’s warmth, warmth that griped her hand securely caressing her hand with his thumb. She didn’t need to be in her senses to say whose warmth it was. She could feel him even with her eyes closed. Only by his presence in the room she can easily say that it’s him. Her everything, her jai.
In the morning when she woke up she found the seat next to her empty. She guessed that he may have gone to change and freshen up. Soon the nurse came to her with her medicines, which she clearly refused to take. Reason, well she hated them from childhood. She hated taking any kind off pills. According to her they are the most disgusting things anyone could ever offer her.
“Mrs. Verma please take these …you really need them to get better..,” said the nurse helplessly
“No I won’t ….th-they are so yuck in taste I won’t take them” naina said making cute faces.
Nurse helplessly shakes her head. Just then jai enters the room. Getting the whole scenario he nods to the nurse signalling her to leave. The nurse hands him over the medicines and leaves quietly.
Jai looks at naina and shakes her head in disbelief. He moves towards her and takes his seat beside her.
“Naina take these otherwise it won’t be good for you at all….” Says jai firmly in a warning tone.
Naina being naina said,” no I won’t what will you do?” crossing her hands over her chest while turning her face the other side but still looking at him from the corner of her eyes. This made jai smile a little. She was actually looking cute. Was she always this cute or something has changed inside him that made her look this way in his eyes….?
Controlling his smile and maintaining his ever so stern face Jai started to come close to her. Naina gulped like a scared rabbit as her eyes met his intermediate once. Watching him coming this close to her, her eyes widened like saucers .Not able to handle such intimacy, she immediately looked down trying to calm her raging heart. She was sure that if some doctor measures her blood pressure now the BP machine will blast. Never in these 2 years she had ever came across jai’s this side. They both were extremely close. Shock would be an understatement for naina at that moment.
Jai was looking into her eyes and slowly her lifted her face by placing his fingers under her chin and coaxed her to look into his eyes which were intimidating her to no extent. Gathering some courage, naina finally looked into his eyes,
“Take them or else….” jai again whispered softly, their lips almost touching.
“Or else…?” whispered naina totally under his spell.
“Or else….this” said jai softly, naina was too lost in his eyes to know what he was up to.
He started tickling her and she started laughing loudly not able to control herself.
“Jai please please please….please leave me…ha ha ha… o god… jai….” naina begged laughing
“no can do… first you will take your medicines , then only I will stop.” jai put his condition but something was different this time, this time even he was laughing with her. For the first time in their entire marriage journey, she had seen ever so serious jai verma laughing like a baby. Carefree and happy. If jai’s employs saw their boss laughing like they would have straight died out of shock.
“Okay okay I will take them ….ha ha…please stop.” she said still laughing and huffing
Jai left her and put forward the medicines in front of her
Naina looked and made faces. Jai shook his head smiling and forcefully put the pills in her mouth while she made a puking face. He warned her with his eyes and gestured her to gulp them down. She gulped them down as he made her drink water.
After which jai caressed her hair soothingly.
“Sleep you need rest” he said softly helping her lie down while sitting beside her and caressing her hair till she slipped into deep slumber due to the effect of the medicines.
That was a memory to cherish for naina. Alas..! The only sweet memory to cherish for her. She missed that warmth of his for her, that softness of his voice, that caring behavior.
“Voh sakht tha,
par mulayam bhi
Man mein uske bachpan tha,
Par bachpane se shikayat bhi…
Bus mauke ki talaash thi,
Kyuki abhi bhi dil mein
Bachpane ki ek nanhi khilkhilahat thi…”
The ting of the wall clock brought her to the present.
She saw the clock and then noticed the date on the calendar. It was 30th December today and tomorrow is their wedding anniversary i.e. 31st December a day before New Year and the day on which naina’s life was completely changed
It was 6 pm and jai would arrive home around 8 for dinner which had been his daily routine since marriage. Naina wanted to celebrate sometime with jai. Not more but at least some time. Though her mind warned her that it won’t be possible but her heart still had this hope that maybe, maybe this time he would consider her request.
At 8 pm
Jai and naina were sitting on dining table eating their dinner
Jai was looking happy. There was a shine on his face
“You look different today! Did something good happen?” naina asked curiously.
“Ah yes… I got the deal for which I was working since last six months and tomorrow I need to go to finalize the last pending schemes related to it .” replied jai with happy face
Naina was happy for him but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. As really she wanted to spend some time with jai tomorrow. As tomorrow was Sunday she was expecting him to be at home and spend some time with her. Usually jai would be at home on weekends excluding some special occasions.
“Emm can’t anyone else go in your place tomorrow, it-it’s our anniversary and I really wanted to celebrate it together” naina asked in a low voice while playing with the food with her spoon.
“naina I guess I made it very clear my work come first for me ….then why again the same rant even after 3 years…?” jai said irritated with naina concentrating on his food
She went silent. As tears welled up in her eyes.
“I am done” saying this jai stood up wiping his mouth with the napkin and left for their room, while naina sat there controlling her emotions still playing with her food.
“I only wanted bit of your time jai…was it too much to ask…?”Whispered naina to herself.
Jai was all ready and was about to leave the house when naina came with his blazer and helped him wear it.
“I will be back around 6 pm and then I have an important Skype meeting” jai informed naina
“Can’t you spend just one hour with me …it’s our anniversary” naina asked lowly. Her voice depicted her sadness’.
“Naina please not again just leave my way I need to go” jai spoke rudely frustrated by her same rant and left in anger.
He was almost in front of his car in the parking when he noticed he had forgotten his keys.
He cursed himself for being such an idiot and was about to enter the house when his eyes fell on some roses in the garden. That’s when naina’s sad face popped up in front of his eyes. He felt bad. For the first time he felt bad watching her like that. His heart clenched and un-clenched as her sad and dull face flashed in front of his eyes.
Hence he decided to pluck some flowers for her. At least she won’t have that dull look anymore. Though he is not able to spent time with her but at least she will have her beautiful smile on her face watching these flowers. Without thinking further he plucked those flowers and went inside. Her pleadings had finally managed to melt his heart to some extent.
He entered inside the house and what he saw made his blood dry in his veins. Naina was lying lifeless on floor soaked in blood near stairs
“NAINA…!” jai he yelled as the roses fell off his hands on the ground and its petals scattered. He ran towards her while the red roses were crushed under his feet brutally and took her in his arms as she was breathing heavily….
“Hey … hey hey…naina meri jaan please nothing will happen to you okay I am there…” jai tried to console her while tears started flooding his eyes without him realizing it.
Naina smiled in her tears as she heard him call her jaan for the first time in their entire marriage. She wanted this from so long, just his little attention and now when she was getting it , she was like this, so unfortunate her fate was. So unfortunate their fate was.
She raised her blooded hand slowly , which was shivering as no more strength was left in them and cupped his face gently smiling in her tears, while he held her hand on top on hers on his cheek,
“All the best for your meeting….” naina whispered smiling and showed him his car keys by opening her other palm which were blooded and closed her eyes forever as her last tear rolled off the corner of her eyes.
Her body went numb and her hand slipped and fell on the floor lifeless as her glass bangles shattered into pieces.
“no no no… naina…!! Naina….baby….please wake up ..i m sorry…i m so so sorry…please maaf karo mujhe….. I won’t go anywhere, I won’t leave you ever… please don’t leave me….please…”he pleaded frantically patting her cheek but alas..! it was too late now.
He reminisced the scene that happened few minutes back,
Naina must have ran after him as she noticed that he had left his car keys but her foot slipped in the staircase and she came tumbling down the stairs all blooded.
“Ahmiyaat thi usse uski,
Par kabhi zikr nhi kia..
Pyaar tha usse bhi
Par kabhi qubool nhi kia
Mukhaute ke peche chupkar
Uska hamesha saye ki tarah khyaal rakha
Jataya nhi usne kabhi
Par ussi ke liye hamesha apna dil sambhaal ke rakha
Himmat jutakar dastan-e- mohobaat bayan krne
Ek din usne aisa kadam rakha
Prr afsoos derr krdi usne
Kyuki taqdeer ne tha kuch aur hi likha”
Even when death was at her doorstep all she was concerned about was him. This broke him. He never cared for her. Never gave her that much importance. Always took her for granted. She kept trying, to have just a bit of him, just a bit of his time, she always adjust ,but he never noticed her efforts, never acknowledged her PARVAAH for him. And how look what he lost. He realized his mistake, but it was too late for realization now.
He has loved her always, he knew it but realized it too late and look what it cost him.
He lost her for forever.
She was not coming back anymore.
He broke down and started crying hugging naina.
PAR AB RONEKA KYA FAIDA JAB USKI SAANSEIN HI USKA SAATH CHOD CHUKI HON. JAB TAK INSAAN ZINDA THA USKI KADR NA KI, JAB SAANSEIN THAM GAYI TAB PAVAAH KARNE KA KOI FAIDA NAHI. WAQT REHETE AAPNO KI EHEMIYAT SAMJHE AUR UNHE DEKH KAR ANDEKHA NA KAREIN. KAHIN BAHUT DER NA HOJAE.